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Monday, December 31, 2012

The Spiral.

Someone keeps breathing inside my ears. Sounds like a scared child.
'oh isnt that a pity. Oh yes yes it is such a pity'

Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale-
I open my eyes again.
"NO!" I suddenly scream."Please please pleasee.. None of this is true...please please let it not be true"

'S-s-see uh listen, I-im s-sorry jane, im sorry i didnt...k-know you...w-would-'

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU DIDNT KNOW?! THIS WAS..... This is a game! YOU ALL SET ME UP!!! ALL OF YOU!!!YOU FUCKING LIARS! YOU LIE YOU LIE YOU LIE YOU LIE YOU LIE..."
Tears pour down my face in rivers... And that person wont stop whimpering...
TickTickticktickTicktickTicktickTICKSCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCHTICK
The nails keep digging my scalp.

'baby... jane...it wasnt supposed to turn out like that,jane. i thought you had done it all, i thought you buried them all babyjane-'

"THATS.NOT.MY.FUCKING.NAME!!!", I scream.

I know I did it! I know I did, right?

l lay knees to my chest.
The nails just keep digging.
Digging deeper.
I buried the rest.
They scratch and claw.
The lies.
Scratching over sores. Sores upon sores and scars and blood and sores.
Lies lies lies lies LIES!
Oh the blood.
"I-i-it cant be... It cant be...please please..."
I close my eyes again.
inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale
'oh dear we're fucked now-'
They laugh and some of them cower. Hide.

"You all lied. None of this was real? Who did i- how? Nononono nooo"
'well ya dont say see man i aint tryna get my goose cooked over dis shit man i aint did shit man come on man-'
TICK TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICK
'come on man come onman come on man'

"They're going to find me, they're... They're all going to rip me open and-and... Oh please oh please!! DONT LET THEM FIND ME PLEASE!!!"

BANG BANG BANGBANGBANG

'jane please i didnt mean to i didnt
mean to i didnt i swear i thought i thought i '
'pathetic kill yourself'
'well she has to now she screwed up again didnt you sarah you fuckin whore you really did it huh'
'fuckinshitdamn ya really done it man shit we not gonna make it man we aint flyin through this dumphole man shit'
'oh come on you really thought you could win.you thought you could hold the title of god?you lose immortality.'
'shit shit jane, jane! Im here im here'

SIGH.

"Wow."
I laugh... Like an engine startup. A saw.
It cuts through my lungs and up my throat. It clatters my teeth and scrapes my tongue. Its loud.It hurts.
"Ah... Hah...I-its f-funny really. I screwed up."
But then I cant stop laughing. I try to stop but the engine is on now. My stomach crackles and burns but I cant stop.
It hurts.and I laugh.
The Laugh Demon grabs my arms and makes me clap and dance and swirl and im laughing all the way. I am laughing and crying and spinning.
"Hahahahah!!! IVE FUCKED UP!!! IVE FUCKED UP!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"
Im dancing over torn bodies, awkward bodies, hanging ones, bloody ones, broken ones, sitting ones. All their mauled, burned and rotten in faces all seem so funny! This is hilarious!
Oh my stomach burns now and the laugh demon laughs away into my mind.
The engine sizzles and calms down.
Wow.
I collapse on slippery cold skin and bloody clothing. My stomach burns with a flare and pain shoots up my spine and travels down my legs. My eyes register nothing. Its getting hard to breathe in this room.
'jane?'
"Heh, Yeah?" a smile cut onto my face.
'you did good.you did good this time baby.'
I let a long sigh escape me. Oh my stomach.

Im left staring at the far left wall. Kitchen on the left. Hallway on the right. Door on the wall. A smudge of angry,dirty red, smear some of the left side.funny.

"Ima god now r-right?"
And suddenly everything feels cold and hot and hot and cold.
My fingers are starting to loose feeling.

Im the mighty god. Who rose and fell. I tasted greatness and defeat. I know my fate.
An angry large knife juts out from middle of my abdomen. It pulses and mocks me. Every time i breathe it feels deeper. Funny.
'well you did it this time.'
'too late man too late...'
Im a god stabbed by its own people.
'so close to immortality!we had it,bud! we had it!'
'...baby...jane?what did you do? janebaby...why?'

My eyes close as the sun covers everything and makes it red.
Everything red.

"Heh. All...42...huh?"

Red outside.behind my eyelids.on the floor.on the creme walls. Spots on the ceiling and drapery. Red everywhere and everything red.

'babyjane...42... You made it to...42'

Red on them and red on me.
"43...Its 43...now"


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