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Sunday, September 8, 2013

For You

Is where you'll find us
Were not alone
Amongst the Flowers

Where There is Only True
I and You.
You and the Blossoming Roses dripping with Wet Love
I ,
Drowning in your Neverending Sunsets,
Leaving my mind to wander....
Where am I to GO Next?

Where am I to be THIS Happy?

A sickening kind of Comfort,
It leaves my chest,a Gaping Chasm.
When you're Gone.

Saturday, August 10, 2013


pepigi meo uos manu
Confiteor tuum esse.
iter tuum plenum est.

Similia sanguine creata sum vobis.
Confiteor tuum esse.
iter tuum plenum est.

Nunc mihi sta desuper vobis
iter tuum plenum est

iter tuum plenum est.
Finem. Finem. Finem.

We are Destined to Be Immortals, You and I.

Si verum est,
te mea incitet dicere is!
Cum dies sacri spiritus align
Forsitan dicam animae, destinati sumus
ut esse Immortales
Vobis et ego!

Cries to The Heavahns, Tears to the Earth.

~Et audiens vocem tuam resonante
resonat per meos somniorum nigerrimum
O terrae! O mi cordis esse velit propinquus vos!

Ego sum autem sanguis
Obruit is terrae
Ego sum Cor quƦ gignit humus!

O terrae! O terra! Habe me claudere!

Opening up

In Amorem et lucem,
Argentum et Aurea Soles inter astra,
Dormies inter eos,
Pariter in cor meuma!

A stragulum noctium finiunt,
Benediximus vobis et,
In multis vivit Unum.

Per tempora,
Deum corpus et
Similis aperiant foraminis,
O! reve Votum mea Angelorum

Omnia sunt electi

Lend Me the Eyes of a God

Largire me,
Ita possum aspiciat
in universum,
Quasi ego nichil fiunt

Largire me
Ita possum ego Videre Veritatem.

Dedicavit ad Deam! (E mea corpus)

O Godess!
Vultis orate pro me?
O Dea?
Hoc mundus me nusquam discedere

Ego potest non dico vobis
tribulatiĆ³nibus meis
quia tu scis omnia
Cor meum verbum

Godess Obsecro!
Vultis orate pro me?
Obsecro Godess?


To Ra in TinaL

Non sumus eum.
Solum infra.
Oculos nondum,
ut supra Solem aspiciat.

In The Tinny Tongue TinaL

Ego Sum qui sum, 
et erit in aeternum. 
Ego sum Deos. 
Qui vivimus, 
Omnes enim temporibus futuris,
Donec destiti ut remaneres Humanum.
Ego sum qui sum, 
Et erit in aeternum, 
Ego sum Deos.


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

.Blessed Be, Her and She.

Blessed be thy feet that have run only to me
Blessed be thy (legs/ knees) sensual and sweet
Blessed be thy Hips that shall carry life and seed
Blessed be thy Womb without which we would not be

Blessed be thy Breasts, Honest and Full
Blessed be thy Lips that do whisper liquid gol'

Blessed be thy Goddess Child
Her and She
Love Me an' I shall Love you Whole
All say
So Mote It Be.


It cannot cleanse me
It cannot wash me
From this Dirt
That has caked upon my skin.

Though, other times I can Smile
With Mud in my Teeth
And Sin in my Bones

But Why
Do I feel so Wrong?
For something that Makes me?
(Feel Right?)

Oh I cannot help it...

This Dirt has Made My Skin
And The Dirt Ive made Kin.

Stars are a Secret Wonder...

Stars are a Secret Wonder
A Hidden Paradise Where
If you Wait long enough
They will open themselves up
to you.


I , reaping souls of lost dreamers
I that bittersweet Love with a deathly Tang
I still taking the hearts of men because they still love me.
Bang Bang ,

Oh Goddess

Black as the Nighting sky
With eyes aflame,
like burning coal,
Empty as a barren womb,
Those wide eyes.

But alas!
behold thine beauty!
Made of Night itself,
With an essence that glows,
Brighter than the dying suns,
Couplets of rare sparkling rays,
She is .

Oh with Thine breasts topped with Saturn's rings of gold!
Her eyes that know beyond,
What mine could slightly see!
Tis so she loves me!
And I her.

We lay amongst born again stars,
Our breaths aligning the Constellations.
We gaze into each others Suns,
Our rings and destiny collide in intimacy!
Our love brings Life to Death and more!
Oh Night! Oh Nuit! Oh Isis!

I Love You Whole as You Love Me.

Old Static Television

My lids blink the static away,
screen to screen,channel to channel,
but its all just static.

My eyes trying to blink through stations,
Screen to screen, channel to channel,
stupid old TV they say,
but the old static TV still plays.

It will play the new blank program
The blank show that shows blank daily
but what of me?

blink blink 

Its just me and my tired eyes
trying to blink the Universe away.


Who creates things like Me?
Why am I even Here?
I feel so out of Place, 
Not in the right Form..
I feel 


Why Do You Look to the Stars for your Answers?

Thursday, July 11, 2013

When In The Grey Morn

I woke up this morning
And I was out walking
And I stood there
Marveled at the sun
It was something that belonged
In my dreams

It was the light that faintly casted the day
Across the dormant grass
With the land rising up
To greet the sky's colour

And the crows that cawed Death
Echoing above my head

And the silent steps my soles made
A tap tapping of silent grey
In foggy breaths I asked

What if everyday was like this ?
WhAt if we lived each day wAiting
Waiting for the sun to rise
And the warmth to shine our faces?

I roamed about the subject
Until my fleeting mind left me
And all was lost into nothingness

Until all was just the morning...

What of Me Now? Past Notes 4.5

The rain falls slowly
To reach my feet
Upon the empty soles I feel
All but the concrete

The grey sky glows ahead
To cast the sun rAys grey
The sun behind old winter
Falls cold and dead today

To be lost in waves of time
Is all but a waste
Tick, goesthe clock of day
Another breath lost to fate

Is Life Everliving? Past Notes 3

Tiresome beginnings
in measureless time
Is life ever living?
Like the morning dew
and salt tide?

Count the many shadows
As the garden of death seeks bloom
The grey sun shines
It's sparkling rays
As it seeks to be immortal

Past Notes 2

Waiting for dried out tears to fall
Waiting for loves embrace to call
Waiting for painted windows to dull
Waiting for futures rope to pull

Past Notes 1

A start from the ending
A gravestone from the beginning
A sun circles round infinity
Is life everliving?

Is life everliving?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Red Runner-Notes for short story.

The train just keeps going and going.
I had to get away.
I have to keep moving.

I cannot count the hours I have been on this train. The hours I have been on these two feet, staring into the blurs and shades of darkness whizzing by the windows.
He will be worried. I'll have to call anyway. Can I really do this?
My Arms creak as they reach into my jacket pocket, my fingers unbending slowly to press the buttons.
I hold the cellphone to my ear as it calls. I didn't even check the time, but it is probably well over midnight.

"W-where are you?" His voice is low but it croaks the heavy tone of sadness. He Already knows. 

My voice is quiet and small. Why am I starting to feel like a goddamned child?
"...I'm not sure. But I'm pretty far out this time. I think I can-"

"Come home." He says short but stern.

"I just have to-"
A heavy sigh.
"Alyssa, You cant keep doing this."
to him.
but what about me?

Instantly I am frustrated and growing angry.

"I don't know where I am. I don't care. I just had to go. Can't you see that Keith?"

"Please, baby come home. Come back. You cant keep leaving like this! You're running away from-"

"Don't. Don't you Dare." I already know. Its the same argument every time! He just doesn't get it!

A silence.

"Fine then."

"Fine?" My finger slides back and forth over the smooth 'End' button.

"I'll get on the Lexington Train. It will ride along the same route as the Berring. I can meet you. We can go wherever you need to go just-"

"Keith! Stop it."

I hear a slam in the background.
"Dammit! Why do you always run? I dont know what to do anymore. Is it me?! What have I done to you? I-I just dont fucking understand! I love you Alyssa! Why wont you...I understand how you feel..we can..."

And the Train just keeps going.
Farther and farther away, but somehow closer.
My eyes no longer registering my environment. I am only a being. No... I am more than that, I got this far.

"Keith...Im going to find her. Im going to find Nova and bring her back."


"Hey.." I say a bit low, and he calms down to listen.

"I love you with all my heart, Keith. Forever and always."

I close my phone shut, turn it off and put it on the metal suitcase rack above me.
Just me and an empty Train.

Somehow the tears that run down my cheeks are not from anger nor sadness. I've decided. They are the tears of a promise.

I will bring her back Keith! Whatever it takes.

Extra Notes:

"Alyssa, what the hell do you think you're doing! Where are you going to go? You dont even know!"

My purse in hand and a messily packed suitcase in the other. 
"Its been 2 years Keith! 2 years! You think we can just keep waiting? We can't just give up! She could be-"

"The police already handled it! You know this! What can we do that they haven't done already, Alyssa? We've tried, you know that!We've done everything!" His eyes seem to burn right through mine.

"They haven't found...a body. She...she could still be alive Kieth!"

"Oh hell..." His two fingers pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. Two cigarettes lie burning simultaneously in the ash tray near him. 

" already think...shes dead don't you...That's why everything of hers is...gone." I let my purse and small suitcase fall to the floor.

"You...You..." He lets out an almost frustrated laugh as he gets up from the table.
"I cant fucking believe you can even say something like that." His fist slams the hardwood table making me jump a little.

"I was just...I didnt mean it like... it just seems like.." I try to say, gathering empty words.

"NO! You don't think I wish every morning for her to be there?! Popping out of the closet to give Daddy a scare..." His hands ball into fists and cover his eyes. "Im always seeing her, Alyssa! I always think I see her! On the street, on the train! Hearing her Laugh!I'm...I'm always looking for my little girl. I just...I cant keep doing that Alyssa! I need to move on! Its going to kill me if I dont!" He collapses onto his knees, head in hands. His shoulders shake with silent weeping and I am frozen in place."My little girl...."

I just dont know what to do anymore, but I cant go on like this.
"I... Im  so sorry."

I run to the bedroom and lock the door.

Since her "disappearance" after what the Newspapers dubbed it as "The Factory Fire Flare", The police have begun to call off the case. Only a few turned up missing because they didnt have a body to match. But there were no leads to show if any of the missing,including my daughter,are alive or dead.

But her. My baby girl. They have to find my baby girl.



Sunday, January 13, 2013

Im falling again
Falling where hope cant reach me
down the spiral
there I went
Up to surface
down the bend

Monday, January 7, 2013

Worms that feast on Despair

Snaky slugs that ate my songs
Found a crevice in my heart
Worms that feast on weakened ones
Will tear till i do part

Scaling creatures that slither and slay
Will soon be the death of me

Withering Hope a soon is she
As fire catches on dead leaves

Fish a many as a fishermans sea
Eyes an empty as the oceans deep

Eno Stars

And there I was
Free floating on an
Austrian star
Wondering where the time
Got swallowed up
To and where i was

I gleamed against a million suns
That spiked my skin so
I budded along a rare flower
As I became my true form
A rare flesh of Hope
A rare-petaled Love

Sunday, January 6, 2013

I shook with might and they stood, I cried out as any god would.

Soon I will be just a breath of air.

a squint of lashed lids,
When the Sun gets to bright.
Even the rodents,
brush off my Thundering Sight.

I, now just the Rain,

that Men shake off.

?? Who are you?

There is always something for you to achieve. Always an Envelope of forgotten Darkness to open,Always a Hidden Stone to find and Crack.Always a Block Of Fear and Doubt to Overcome,Doors to open,Chakras to fill and lives to Fulfill.You are Yet on The Edge of Understanding,Learning a new thing Each one Day. What you Trully Yearn is Yet not on this Earth, This SPhere, THis World.Yet You Can Bring IT there Only through you. IT is a Pleasant Forbidden Light Only you can Hold Within Your Self...You, Of Great Barriers and Medians, a Door and Vessel Itself. You a Great and Yet YOu Doubt and Cannot See,You Question. Remember The Mind Has great Powers,So to say.Great Boundaries can be Reached,and Seen If Worked Enough.
You Can Do More Than Your Blocked Mind can Think

Saturday, January 5, 2013

You and I

If I Be the night that cradles you so,
Call to the stars to carry you home.
If I be the winds that carry your stride,
Yell to the skies to quicken your flight.

But If I be the moon and sun that sets,

Will you stay till dawn and dusk for it?
If I were as everpresent as the air you so breathe,
Would you love till death or forget about me?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The Jackal's Musings actually Make sense.

"My Life is divided into Camps & Islands, and I sit adrift on my freakish Raft in No Man’s Waters, struggling to find a Balance between ‘nerdy Friends’ and ‘cool People who aren’t emotional Wrecks’."